Woodford Reserve over Weller and Pappy.
Tudor over Rolex.
Chateaubriand over Côte de Boeuf.
Keep your old iPhone.
And other sanctimonies…
I’m starting Hard 75 soon—right after Disney Paris. So, here I am, sipping my last pour of Woodford, listening to a self-help podcast. Don’t laugh. I owe much of my worldview—getting my way in life—to Tony Robbins, self-help books, and, most importantly, actually helping myself.
One of the reasons I started this was to offer young men an alternative view. An alternative to what? Douchery.
I’m old enough to remember when “masculinity” meant rapey pick-up artists on Spike TV, peacocking in cargo shorts and fedoras. Magic tricks, “negging,” and body language hacks to get women into bed. Millennials saw it for what it was: ridiculous drivel. But it wasn’t just the 2000s. Look at old Bond films or any “manly” media. They promised young men that life’s worth was measured by who’s in your bed, what’s on your wrist, and how flashy your life is.
Gross.
That’s not why I like Bond. That’s not why I’m drawn to classic movies or old stories. I admire their simplicity. Their timelessness.
But this toxic game is alive and well. Today’s version? Kids with massive phones punching people in grocery stores for viral fame. Logan Paul, Andrew Tate, and other YouTube “bros” peddle a promise just as empty as their predecessors: “Do what I do, and you’ll be cool. Pass the vibe check, land a brand deal, and become MrBeast.”
Sounds plausible, right? Statistically, you’ve got a better shot at making the NBA. Spoiler alert: you won’t.
So what should you do?
I’ll let you in on a secret: I have nearly every outcome you want.
• I’ve got the bag—not the biggest bag, but an enviable one.
• I got the girl of my dreams before the bag—she actually helped me get it (don’t tell her I said that).
• I’ve got cool toys, passive income, and a job that takes me to Michelin-starred restaurants frequently.
• I’ve got the house, the car, and the lifestyle you think will make you happy.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. None of it will make you happy. It didn’t make me happy. I had to do that. What’s it all about, Alfie?
2. Toys don’t fix anything. Greed and planned obsolescence are cruel mistresses.
3. Girls don’t fall for guys with “stuff.” Sure, some might. But Pusha T said it best, albeit while disparaging janitors. I’ll paraphrase : the wrong kind of girl will leave you as quickly as she came.
4. Being mean to women won’t make you cool. It’ll attract women who gold-dig or fetishize toxic masculinity—neither of which is what you want.
5. When you actually “catch the car,” then what? Sex? Bugattis? Bottles? Combine them all at once and you’ll find someone morally bankrupt, unhappy, and hollow.
What should you do?
Not necessarily what I do—but maybe. I enjoy luxury, but I don’t need validation to savor it. Do I drink Weller? Yes. We save Pappy for majorly special occasions? And my standard pour is Woodford.
Your common bourbon shouldn’t be fussy. It should have complexity, some heat, a hint of smoke—nothing more. When I drink Woodford, I’m reminded of my grandfather. A GQ kind of man. He wore Avon cologne, smelled of mints and cigars, and on Friday nights, we’d watch Star Trek while eating popcorn. Maybe he didn’t drink Woodford, but it connects me to a great man.
That’s why I say Tudor over Rolex: Tudor is Rolex for men who don’t care (too much) if they scratch their watch. The OG luxury tool watch company got a bit too shiny and haute couture for my taste. I don’t see much tool there these days. I honestly think that the only modern Rolex for me is the only one that’s under the radar. A Tudor. If you know, you know. New Balance over Balenciaga. Chateaubriand is a perfect splurge for Sunday roast—but don’t forget topsides can impress, too. It doesn’t need to be a cut that you can’t justify.
And no, she’s not talking to you because of your iPhone’s three cameras. If she notices your phone, it’s not the phone. It’s you.
If you’re not getting the attention you want, here’s the truth: only you can fix that.
• Get in the gym. Not just for aesthetics, for discipline and confidence.
• Read books.
• Become interesting.
• Start a skincare regimen.
You won’t win by tearing others down, especially women. That path ends in bitterness, on forums filled with men complaining about the world.
What keeps those men up at night? Loneliness, despair, apathy, and a crushing sense of low efficacy. You know what keeps me up at night? The thought of this world spinning out of control and crashing into my daughters if we don’t start helping men do better.
Let’s do better. Because right now, you’re probably doing too much.